If I am truly honest I am glad today is over.

I spent from 1pm until 7:45pm at the house where my mother and sisters live.

I have finally come to realise that their lack of manors and good grace so shockingly disturbs, offends and upsets me that I may just have to write a book about it. I will at least have to write an essay on the subject of how to have a "happy Christmas" and to be honest I think it might involve staying home.

I love my family but I can not stand my sisters table manors.

Does that make me a bad person?

¶ 8:56 pm 1 comments

Greatings beautiful surfers. I'm on line christmas day getting my fix of blogging before I go get a fix of beer.

Now tell me honestly are you at home? Do you have friends over or is it just you, the PC and the cat? I'd love to know what you are all doing reading this stuff today

My "excuse" is that I am a nurd, a geek and a dad rocking a baby to sleep. But I really want to know about the rest of you. Are you eating good food and how are you celebrating this season?

I'm about to go get a drink. So before I do I will share my bit of news: someone gave us a jar of smoked caviar (no idea how to spell it) which I have never had before. I'm not much of a fish eater so fish eggs... it'll be interesting.

Be good, don't do anything I wouldn't do and if you do remember to user steal re-enforced concreate...

¶ 11:05 am 0 comments

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin.

(Wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like: 'Oo you lookin' at?'

Gabriel just goes: 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to 'im large.

'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that.

She's like: 'Orright, Mary, I can proper feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. What with the extra benefits an' that.'

Mary goes: 'Yeah, s'pose you're right.'

Anyway, there's the census, y'knaaa? Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to twock a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem on that.

They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop yeah? To have her bay-bee, an' that. But there ain't no room in the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like: 'Respect the bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' with this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas, an' Burberry?'

It's all abaht to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like: 'The police is coming an' they're killing all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.'

Joe goes: 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey.'

Gabriel sez: 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look-aht if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killing the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazeref, an' Jesus turns water into lager.

¶ 10:07 am 1 comments

Secunia - Multiple Browsers Window Injection Vulnerability Test: "Secunia Research has reported a vulnerability, which affects most browsers. The vulnerability can be exploited by a malicious web site to 'hi-jack' a named browser window, regardless of which web site is the true 'owner' of the window."

¶ 12:22 pm 0 comments

Child sexual abuse by women - summary: "250,000 children in UK have been sexually abused by women"

That is the most horrific thing I have ever read!

I'm in total shock. I had to double check this but it seems that the findings were from the BBC themselves - UK TV Programme - Panorama - BBC1 - 10 pm Monday 6th October 1997

Somebody shoot me now, this world is total sick.

¶ 1:18 pm 0 comments

Is it just that I've been away writing for a month? Is it that I have had no contact for that month?

What ever the reason - I feel like I've fallen off the planet and no-one noticed.

¶ 1:15 am 0 comments

My blogger code: B4 d++ t++ k++ s u-- f i o x-- e l c- (decode it!)

Greating beautiful readers. I hope you enjoy the nurdish toy provided above as much as I did (for at least six seconds). Geeks and others may recognise the origins of this little idea. Others can have fun with it anyway.

¶ 10:20 am 0 comments