Have your say - What do you think?: "Who are better Boys or Girls? "

¶ 5:23 pm 2 comments

The unwarranted or irrational fear of the opinions of others.

Although Allodoxaphobia is generally accepted as a medical or psychological condition (not unakin to a psychosis or overruling condition requiring expert attention) it could easily be argued to be a basic function of the human condition.  

If I call the atheist a Theophobe how does he feel?  Does he thank me?  Of course not, he feels perhaps angry at my opinion or maybe he looks down at me for not understanding but most likely he feels defensive.  We feel defensive when we feel the need to defend - it can be seen as a fear reaction.

How do these comments make you feel?

• Sex is a sin
• Cats are nasty animals
• The Feasibility study is meaningless
• In all probability you will fail
• You are wrong
• Your work is rubbish
• Your clothes are rubbish
• Your friends, house and car are rubbish
• You are rubbish

It's be pretty hard to take if that was all said to you in a day.  One or two of the comments might fail to affect you at all, but what if someone important to you started to say them?  Out of this core fear then comes: peer-pressure, fashion, demands, popularity contests and a thousand every-day games of lets pretend that tries to avoid 50% of the possible opinions of others.

At the end of the day words and opinions can not damage or kill you but the experienced rejection, (that failing in the eye's of another brings), can.  It is a form of Social Phobia that causes us to stay home on a "bad hair day" and refuse to be seen at a club without "the right clothes".  At some level we know that clothes are required only to keep us warm and dry but still we still are extremely selective and our criteria are not those of practicality but of the opinions of others.

What else does this lead to?

• Cainophobia / Cainotophobia, (Fear of newness, novelty), fear of taking risks of doing something different.  Is this not, aguably, part of what binds us as a society together?  This is an opinion, does this opinion frighten you?  If not - good; if "yes" then why?
• Autodysomophobia, (Fear of one that has a vile odour) perhaps?  The fear that being with an unfashionably scented person may make us guilty by association in the minds of others?
• Bromidrosiphobia / Bromidrophobia, (Fear of body smells) comes to mind too.
• Automysophobia, (Fear of being dirty),  Fear that our most fashionable top will be unwashed in time to go to the party?
• Catagelophobia, (Fear of being ridiculed). Is this not what we fear the most?
• Cacophobia, (Fear of ugliness).  Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder but is it not true that no one want to be thought of as ugly.
• Caligynephobia, (Fear of beautiful women).  It has happened to all of us males at some point.  We see the fantastic looking female and we become frightened.  What are we frightened of?  Clearly we are frightened that this lady will think badly of us.  Why is her opinion suddenly important?  It is because we elevate her opinion along with her status as a goddess.  To be blessed by the smile of the goddess is to be popular, liked, successful, god's gift to women; not a failure, manly, liked...
• Isn't all just Autophobia, (Fear of being alone or of oneself) at the end of the day?

What is at stake is our faith in ourselves.  Our belief in our own abilities, charm and general worthiness as a human often take their cues from others opinions.  We feel reassured when people agree with us or like us.  It is how a person will cope when there is non to agree no-one who's opinions are "nice" that is the mark of potential greatness.  Such a person is free to act according to his own standards to strive for his own goals and to do so with whatever methods seem right to him.  This person - a man in this illustration - this man may become a great pioneer or a sociopathic and criminal menace but he will be a great.

Does that mean , then, that we are tied to mediocrity through enslavement to vague elemental forces of this world?  Controlled by fear and yet calling ourselves free?  Are we dictated to by the mores and wants of those around us?  Acting as a giant herd of sheep with no true purpose or direction?  This is the natural conclusion; the final destination of this way of life.  What other conclusion can we draw?  We could come up with a more comforting ending but who would that help? 

So what now?  Do we accept that this is "the glue that binds" or do we break out of our constraints?  If you re-act to these opinions are you still acting as the sheep or do some opinions set you free?  Is it true that truth sets you free?  If it is and if this is some truth do you have the courage to be free?  After all the sheep in the herd feel safe and are unlikely to be eaten by wolves.  Perhaps it is better to be a slave to the vagueties of life, to take comfort in the safety and live a good if unremarkable life and then die (as we all shall).

Now it is down to you.  I have no answers - just questions.

¶ 9:00 pm 0 comments

Here's the little celeb taking a nap.
Apparently I looked much the same (but bigger) at that stage... 

¶ 8:45 am 0 comments

It is clearly true that Mrs Beautiful Talker ROCKS!
So does Beautiful Talker junior who will (in real life) have his daddy's (real life) name.
I have been slapping filler about and pealing paper from walls in an attempt to catch up with what had been a fairly easy going schedule until mini-me fast forwarded by four+ weeks.
I hope to post pictures of the little fella tonight. I would have posted them yesterday but my camera batteries died on me before I could get any snaps. (darn.)

More news will follow - stay tuned.

¶ 10:41 am 1 comments

Exhorsted but happy I am home again. Baby arrived safe and sound dispite being somewhat early. Baby me was around 6 pounds and healthy. News to follow after sleep.

¶ 9:29 pm 0 comments

Beautiful Talker: It's a... baby me!: "congrats guy. so are you expecting a boy or girl"
I am expecting a little boy. He was due to arrive in another four to five weeks min, but he seems to want to arrive before that. (The boy's from my side of the family often do.) Mrs Beautiful Talker is currently in the Maternity section feeling rather board. I've provided all manor of puzzle books to help pass the time but it's not the same as being at home.

This little person is going to have the same name as me (beams!). After all it's a good name!

¶ 4:10 pm 1 comments

Ye-es!
The talker is going to have a new edition! The Beautiful talker Mk2 is due to arrive in the next 24 hours. Mum is currently un a the labour suit and talker / daddy with other kiddies will be heading that way soon.

¶ 7:57 am 2 comments

What's the most pressig issue on your mind right now.

Me? I try not to think about it too much but the most pressing issue on my mind is the number of pressing issues on my mind.

That and the need for change.

¶ 6:51 am 0 comments

Link Whore: "A Link Whore is a website/webmaster who will (without discrimination) trade links or carry out anyother action to get links."

No,I mean it please leave a message after the tone and try and tell me something that I don't actually know. We see about the prizes later...

¶ 2:29 pm 0 comments

I am having real difficulty finding any interesting or inspiring blogs beyond those I have already listed. So I am either searching badly or there really is a shortage.

¶ 6:50 pm 0 comments

Greatings beautiful readers. I've had a few emails and other messages wondering where I am and so I am blogging today just to let you know I am not dead but just recently I have felt like I am and have wished likewise on the makers of some of the bits of hardware on my PC. I was given a great new game that I had looked forward to playing for a while. Everything was well within spec to play it but for a hidden problem my graphics card has only patchy support for something called OpenGL. So the game doesn't work and doesn't support my card and there are no third party patches and dang-it it's too expensive to buy a new graphics card just to play one game.

In totally other news: My little boy is still missing but now I have an apointment to see a solicitor. If not for the fact that his mother might be bright enough to read this blog I'd tell you all sorts of stuff. Not everything because there is a minor involved here and some of the bits that go on in court have a confideliaty clause on them that would mean I'd have to break the law to tell all. You'll have to guess the missing bits I fear.

I still get down about it but I am discovering the true power of friendship.

In other, other news: My MP phoned me up! If your reading this in the US that's like a senitor just picking up the phone and giving you a call...

Also my goldfish is sick. It's about 12 years old and has taken to swimming lazily on it's side near the bottom. That is a mondo bad sign so he's now living in isolation untill he gets better or takes the last ride home. Fortunatly goldfish medicen is very cheap and as goldfish live between 10 to 20 years on average but can achieve 40 I don't see why he should go just yet.

I'm yabbering madly and I know it.

I still feel a sence of total loss and it's real hard to deal with. Justice moves slowly in real life and there are no super-hero's to swoop down and save the day.

Superman is dead!

Still I have my work to think about and I just got a brand new leather chair to sit in at my "desk". I paid less than 20% of the normal listed price for it as an introductory offer to a new supplier so all is not lost...

¶ 1:33 pm 2 comments