Beautiful Talker

All about me

2006-12-31T18:49:00.000Z

This post should stay at the top for the forseeable. This is a javascript feed from the lord matt project

BOD: Use Your Brain

2005-12-08T07:49:00.000Z

This latest linkage goes out to a cool photoblog. Normally I ignore these fellows but today I thought I would link to this one as it did catch my attention enough to stop and read.

Use Your Brain: " Name:Eats and Sneezes
Location:Portland, Oregon, United States"

Greatings beutiful readers. Come and play with me.

2005-10-25T21:38:00.000Z

2005-10-10T16:40:00.000Z

I have not forgotten my BOD project but I have been hard at work on this blog: Lord Matt. Which is my way of pulling it all togeather.

I'm not dead, just dead dull (on this blog) at the moment.

An update.

2005-09-05T15:57:00.000Z

Well I've done it now. I am officially married to Mrs Beautiful Talker. It's taken us long enough to get organised and it took every ounce of effort to pull it off but we have done it and now we can relax... from that task, at least.

Beautiful

2005-08-29T19:24:00.000Z

Well here I am beautifu;l readers. Back from my wedding and dealing with everything that has piled up. I'll post some photo's from the wedding when I get a chance to. In the mean time here is an article that I found that seemed worthy of a beautiful reprint:

How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Cooperate With You
By Gary Simpson

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you never had to "lock horns" with other people? Well, there are some skills that you can learn.

Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.

Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.

So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?

Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it."

What does the second approach convey to your partner?

1 - You are really busy right now,

2 - You would really appreciate your partner making that cup of tea for you,

3 - You have shown concern for your partner's time.

Conversely, what does the first approach convey?

1 - You are rude

2 - You are arrogant

3 - You are lazy

It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.

Look at your language. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body language do you use?

The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"

People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter.

Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders. How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.

Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?

Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.

[If you like this article and would like to use it on your own website or ezine you may do so ONLY if the article is not changed in any way and the final paragraph: "About the author", with all links intact, is included.]

About the author:
Gary Simpson is the author of eight books covering a diverse range of subjects such as self esteem, affirmations, self defense, finance and much more. His articles appear all over the web. Gary's email address is budo@iinet.net.au. Click here to go to his Motivation & Self Esteem for Success website.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Handy Hint: Flagging the unflagable.

2005-08-22T09:54:00.000Z

By now the blog-o-sphear is noticing blogger has a new flag system to allow people to mark blog-spot blogs as bad in some way spam, junk, hate or just plain offensive.

However, the sites I'd most want to flag are the one's that annoy by covering or hiding the navigational bar. Now here is a little tip that many of you will enjoy using to deal with this little irritation.

Add a new bookmark/favourate so in the links section (so that it appears on your tool bar). Make the target this:

javascript:toggleFlag();

and Bob's your uncle (as they say) - you can now flag blogs without being able to see the button. Of course, if there is no bar at all then this will not work... but it's a good start.

Also Published Here

BOD: The department

2005-08-22T09:43:00.000Z

the department: "17 syllables and 187,500 pixels a day - that's the goal. Not that size matters."

This is a realy good photo blog from some one tghat really knows how to use a camera.

The beautiful talker is doing the big M-thing

2005-08-17T11:53:00.000Z

Greatings beutiful readers. The Beautiful Talker will be marrying Mrs Beautiful Talker (which makes it more offical like) next week and I need to find a car... so I am bowing out and no blog posts are likely to happen for the next 9 to 15 days.

I will of course link you to any blogs that are great if I get a chance.

-Beautiful Talker.

Lord Matt Rides Again

2005-08-15T19:59:00.000Z

Hey, readers - do you remember that post (yes the one under this one) where I said "dude, I need my own all about me space..." or something like that..? well I did say that sort thing... So yes: Lord Matt :I did it and stuff.

I'll be getting back to the BOD shortly.... honest.

2005-08-12T09:24:00.000Z

I'm thinking that maybe it is time to combine all the threads of my life and create a blog about... me. Is that a strange idea or just a bad idea?

BOD: Castle of Nannbugg

2005-08-11T08:50:00.000Z

Here is you BOD goodness for today. A blog by an interesting writer that shares the Desz style view of the world that being the same as everyone else is DULL DULL DULL. The only answer to this dullness is to be yourself and try not to too suffer from too much "complete predictablity".

Best of all this blogger is from the greatest bit of the universe - The Earth! (and my corner of said planet - the UK!)

Castle of Nannbugg: "There was a stretch of grassy land from my patio to the edge of the property, where it dropped off with a view of the distant rolling hills. It really was quite picturesque... unless you were on my patio. It was then you realized that tenants and their dogs walked the beautiful stretch of grassy land frequently. There was a strict rule the apartments had and that was to scoop when walking your dog. It was obvious that several did not abide by that."

BOD: Promote Your Blog Correctly

2005-08-10T12:26:00.000Z

(I cheated a little on this one)

This "first" installment of BOD is a little bit of a cheat as I was involved in making it. It is also a site to help you make a difference to yourself rather than anyone else.

Promote Your Blog Correctly: "However, if your foundations are bad your efforts will be useless. So we shall assume that you have good content and a reasonable flow of posts for your blog..."
...
"...So many blogs out there claim to be about how to promote your blog. But when you get down to it they seem to be more interested in selling you stuff. I'm sure you can find ways to say thankyou if you need to but other than that I do not sell."

That is not to say that visiting will not help others, just that it will help you.

As such this one is going to hit the reserve list and will not be the first BOD you see published.

BOD: Tokyo クリ

2005-08-09T10:03:00.000Z

Tokyo ??: "Japanese mayonnaise (マヨネーズ)is dangerous for the unwary in Japan. It is surprisingly tasty in comparison to American mayonnaise. You may instantly become a 'マヨラ(mayola)' or mayonnaise lover. Entire Japanese families are 'マヨラ' and hence in danger of becoming overweight from eating too much mayonnaise."

A great read and quite interesting too.

Although that just could be because I have family in Japan now.

BOD: FREDDY FROM YORKSHIRE

2005-08-08T12:36:00.000Z

Tha' Knows! It's Freddy from (ya-know-where) - a great read if I am any judge at all.

FREDDY FROM YORKSHIRE: "Married with two children. A boy age 8 and a girl age 6. I have 1 goldfish, a hamster and a mortgage. "

I found the site on Desz blog. That itself is a massive endorsment.

Bit-O-Difference

2005-08-08T11:56:00.000Z

Greetings beautiful readers.

This post is to announce the introduction of a new beautiful project. The BOD Project: Bit-O-Difference.

This project will be running right here at this blog and will last for as long as it can.

The project is a simple one. Every day (or as there about) I will post a link to a blog or website I think deserves a little more attention.

These will be websites that are cool, rock, groove, or rule.

Or at least I think so.

You will know a site has been entered for this honour as the post title will start "BOD:"

The title of the project is such because I'd like to make a bit of difference to these sites.

My hope is that you will love these sites too. That you will think they are great and need good comments telling them so. However, you are free to think what you want (including the thought that this blogger has lost his mind.

However, it is no time for Dr Talker to go find the first great site in need of a well done.

One last note. Feel free to recommend other peoples sites but do not ask for your own site to be linked. I will also be going back from time to time to the site that have been awarded a little link under the BOD project and will be following links and profiles from comments I find there. I hope you will join me in making a Bit o' difference.

Top 10 dot-com flops - CNET.com

2005-08-08T11:39:00.000Z

Top 10 dot-com flops - CNET.com: "The most astounding thing about the dot-com boom was the obscene amount of money that was spent. Zealous venture capitalists fell over themselves to invest millions in Internet start-ups; dot-coms blew millions on spectacular marketing campaigns; new college graduates became instant millionaires (albeit on paper) and rushed out to spend it; and companies with unproven business models executed massive IPOs with sky-high stock prices. Of course, we all know what eventually happened to this world. Few of these companies actually made enough money to recoup that cash, and when their investors fled to the hills, these start-ups died dramatic deaths. These are the celebrity victims of the new-economy bust."

Inner Beauty Not Outer

2005-08-05T14:53:00.000Z

The Beautiful Talker does not care about outer appearance of the blogger. I don't care if you are fat or thin, attractive or dog like. I do not care if you are blue or green, red or yellow, black or pink. I certainly don't care if you a male or a female.

Any blogger that feels sexism of any form is right will get no links from here.

Any blogger that seeks to promote one gender over another, one colour over another or one size over another will be struck off the link list forever.

The Beautiful talker feels that to distinguish bloggers for gender, shape, size, colour, hair, religion or for any other reason that is not the content they produce is totally immoral.

The Beautiful Talker does not like the fact that bloggers should be advantaged or disadvantage based just on gender. I don't see why being female should get you access to extra linkage and I don't see why being male should do likewise.

The links that you will get from this blogger will be based only on your content and NOT because I want to link to more/fewer females, males, pinks, otters or humans.

The Beautiful Talker now aims to ensure that blogs that use discrimination will not get a link from this blog.

DuDu's Dad Desz: Google Image Fun..

2005-08-05T13:06:00.000Z

Well desz seems to have similar ideas on the fun games front. In this game you must use google.

DuDu's Dad Desz: Google Image Fun..: "Go to.. Google images Enter ALL of your initials and click Search. Click the first picture that comes up, then click 'See full-size image' Post your initials with the picture (or the url to the picture) and explain how it relates to you. Post these instructions on your website, blog, etc."

My initials are MDB which I happen to know is the file extension to MS-ACCESS files. I was not supprised by the resultant picture.

2005-08-05T11:02:00.000Z

I have decided to try my hand at starting a new meme. (a meme is a fun self replicating idea that seems to have a life of it's own).

The aim of this meme is to link to lots of other blogs but only blogs that you passed the meme on to and they completed it. and also to the site that sent you the meme, or you picked it up from.

Now the activity: Make your own Region Tree

A Region Tree is a graphical representation of the area you live in, for example all trees start with THE WORLD and then each branch takes your more specific until you have connected your town with it's place in the world. This meme was inspired by the data structure in Globally Local a top notch local search that I have been writing code for.

My Tree:

WORLD
   |
   +- Africa
   +- China
   +- USA
   +- etc
   +- EU
       +- UK
           +- South East England
                   |
                   +- Kent
                       |
                       +- Cantebury
                       +- Ashford
                       +- Tunbridge Wells
                       +- Isle of Thanet 
                             |
                             +- Villages
                             +- Towns
                                  |
                                  +- Ramsgate
                                  +- Broqadstairs
                                  +- Margate
                                        |
                                        +- Cliftonville
                                        +- Margate Town

Download Onfolio

2005-08-03T14:32:00.000Z

Just found a yummy looking freebie: Download Onfolio - it's a feed reader that supports firefox and apparently is very nice. Free is a good price.

Promote Your Blog...

2005-08-03T11:43:00.000Z

Promote Your Blog Correctly: "Despite the fact we would all like to hand over £10 / $20 and have endless enthusiastic visitors beet a way to our blog it's never going to happen. So get used to it."

This blog is rather yummy and while the litriture skills are not quite as hot as say shakespear it's still a darn impressive read. It's early days yet but this Blog has a lot of new toys - check out the blogroll.

Mark's Sysinternals Blog: Running Windows with No Services

2005-07-29T20:59:00.000Z

The general up, down, left and right of it is for those beautiful readers that are not also beautiful hackers is that with a little care you can make XP go much faster!

Mark's Sysinternals Blog: Running Windows with No Services: "A Windows service provides functionality to the operating system and user accounts regardless of whether anyone is logged into a system. Windows XP comes with around four dozen services enabled by default, including ones that many people consider superfluous like Remote Registry, Alerter, and SSDP Discovery (Universal Plug and Play). A question many Windows administrators commonly have is therefore, which services can I safely disable? What if I told you that for at least basic functionality like Web surfing and application execution, Windows doesn't need any services? In fact, you can also do those things without system processes like Winlogon.exe, the interactive logon manager, and Lsass, the local security authority subsystem."

Your new air guitar...

2005-07-25T10:54:00.000Z

I "stole" this image without cerimony from this very funny site: http://www.mirrorimage.com/air/index.html

The last minute problem

2005-07-22T17:20:00.000Z

The last minute problem is a curious creature that lives secretly in every project a group of humans tries to complete to any kind of schedule. It's that annoying bleep that happens moments before the big unveiling and yet you somehow felt something like this would happen.

The LMP factor can be used to describe any glitch or other (allegedly) unforeseen delay in the completion of a project. It is random chance by another name. Also know as: The human error principle, The odds that something will go wrong, Murphy's Law etc etc...

We all know and dread the Last-Minute-Problem (LMP) and yet it still happens. Why is that? is it because it is fated to be that way or is it something more intrinsic to the way things are done?

Expect and Plan for the LMP

Often times the effects of last minute corrections and the need thereof is simply a product of bad planning. Workers, builders, planners and leaders are not omnipotent, (although many might tell you otherwise), as such - every detail, (down to the weather changing suddenly or the fact that the clients failed to tell you about a small technical detail that has invalidated your work to date), cannot be predicted. ever.

With this in mind it is vital that steps be taken to account for the statistical likelihood of problems occurring. When timetabling a job it is a must that you create sufficient space for the dealing with of problems. The greater the importance of the deadline the more time should be given over to fault finding and fixing.

It is no mistake that software testing has three distinct stages Alpha testing or in-house checks, Beta testing where trusted clients try out what you have done and final release the greatest test a product can go through. Not until sometime after that third stage will all possible problems be high lighted. It's just one of those things and with experience dealing with and predicting Last-Minute-Problems becomes easier.

Dealing with the LMP

The successful manager and leader of men will be the one that has planned for and is ready to deal with the LMP-factor of projects. He or she will have in place a system and structure of communication and resources ready to deal with problems as they arise. The manager will not be able to predict every problem but will be able to create contingency plans and options that enable work to continue despite of the problems.

The more sensitive and vital an operation or role the greater the level of contingence that should be put in place. No one can teach you how to do this, they can only show you how they do it; but with time and experience you will learn a "feel" for the job.

As the technician you will find yourself at a loss to either explain how a problem occurred or what you can do about it. That's life and part of the learning curve that differentiates the book learner from the experienced worker. Sometimes life just is not the same in practice as in theory.

This experience of the way things actually are and the often glaring repetition of errors or problems gives, with experience, the ability to simply see and side step the problem so that it never occurs. This is the core of why an experienced worker is worth much more money per month than the graduate.

Suffering from lack of experiences with LMP

(on the job experience, that books can not teach you)

When you start out on a new line of work, be it paid employment or some practical task, only the experience of doing it will enable you to handle those shock problems that rear up just as you are putting the tools back in the box. Expect the college student to make errors, this isn't bad in fact the new worker who is almost killed (though exhaustion, the anger of the boss or the laughter of his co-workers) by repeated attacks of LMPs will be worth to you a hundred times the wages of the quite worker who follows orders and never seems to suffer. This is because the one that is suffering from lack of experiences with LMP is also gaining said experience.

Becoming an expert (learning from LMP)

As you encounter Last-Minute-Problems you will come to learn that the only way to avoid Last-Minute-Problems is to encounter them frequently. It is this expertise that teaches you that the red wire needs an inch more give than the blue or that the fastest setting plaster takes twice as long as a slower one. It's just life. Sooner or later you will start to find that LMP is something that happens to other people - you will have gained experience.

Blind sided by your own expertise

(becoming cocky - the unforeseen LMP you will always encounter)

Congratulations you are now an experienced worker LMPs are a thing of the past right? - WRONG! One of the single greatest causes of delays is the sureness of people who "couldn't possibly be wrong" and then are. This again is one of those problems - being blind sided by your own skill and experience. Watch-out for it because it is possibly the most humiliating of all the LMPs.

Conclusion (just factor in and hope...)

At the end of the day Last-Minute-Problems will always happen to you. It is not avoiding them that is the key but how you plan for and handle them that shows the valuable worker. It is not so much the planning or lack of that causes LMPs but lack of experiences with LMPs, the good manager should therefore factor for LMP given a good working knowledge of the experience (time spent doing the job) of the workers.

Originally published by me @ Everything2.com

In the center.

2005-07-21T15:02:00.000Z

Greatings beautiful readers. Yes I know I have been away a while and not brought you the usual mix of myreal life, honest to goodness ego and other stuff. I still am to find nice things to say about others, but lately I can think of only nice things to think about myself and the rather cool things I feel I have been doing or not doing. Or doingly not doing while not doing things I should be doing so I can do things I shouldn't be doing. Or stuff.

Any one else as self centred as me a times?

Google Moon Help

2005-07-20T07:30:00.000Z

Sometimes you have to have a laugh.

Google Moon Help: "Glad you asked, and yes, the development of our lunar hosting and research center continues apace. We usually don’t announce future products in advance, but in this case, yes, we can confirm that on July 20th, 2069, in honor of the 100th anniversary of mankind’s first manned lunar landing, Google will fully integrate Google Local search capabilities into Google Moon, which will allow our users to quickly find lunar business addresses, numbers and hours of operation, among other valuable forms of Moon-oriented local information."

In the news today: Hundreds of nudes cross the Tyne

2005-07-18T19:03:00.000Z

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Hundreds of nudes cross the Tyne: "About 1,700 men and women have appeared naked in Tyneside in the name of art. "

...bring on the clown.

2005-07-17T22:54:00.000Z

I am having a really naff day.

I did have a faily chirpy post idea but I'm just too ticked off about the shapeless sacks they call trousers that hire companies expect you to wear for weddings if you are unfortunate enough to have given up smokeing and gained 4 inches of tummy doing it.

So not only do I look like the goodyear blimp but I must wear boffo-the-clowns trousers too.

Digi Astounding Publications

2005-07-11T17:48:00.000Z

I am currently working on one of the most challenging projects yet. A fiction publication blogger style.

Digi Astounding Publications: "If you have the gift of the short and exiting story then we would like to hear from you. We are currently putting the finnishing touches to, and adding content to the first six issues which, when ready, will herald the launch of our new publication."

Boom! Shake the room.

2005-07-07T17:13:00.000Z

Wow I feel stressed today. And no it has nothing to do with the big explosions in our nations capital. Yes I know that London has been dropped to a standstill but I feel stressed too...

No I'm not really that self centred but hell I feel like it sometimes. It's been bedlam around here and I am sufferring from stress and trying not to get assigned sick status due to PTSD.

Another View of the Talker.

2005-07-06T09:37:00.000Z

Readers will probably realise that since the size of the beautiful talkers family increased he has had less time for blogging.

Sadly this is not going to change any time soon.

However, there is a sectret archive of texts by the same writer and for your viewing pleasure I am going to link to all of them.

As time goes by I may even re-publish them here too.

Sokath, his eyes uncovered (idea)
E2 Gothic (thing)
Goth Culture (idea)
A vindication of the authority of fathers (person)
Theophobia (thing)
Allodoxaphobia (idea)
Xylophobia (idea)
Androphobia (thing)
Vestiphobia (thing)
Social phobia (thing)
Ablutophobia (thing)
Atychiphobia (thing)
Levophobia (thing)
Blennophobia (thing)
Obesophobia (thing)
Ailurophobia (thing)
Melissophobia (thing)
emotional abuse (place)
Good Lies (place)
hamartia (idea)
Hennie van Niekerk (person)
Fall of the mighty (thing)
An introductory guide to networks (thing)
Network manager (person)
Network user (person)
Transmission Control Protocol / Internet Protocol (thing)
Systems Analysis (thing)
Feasibility Study (thing)
Evaluation (thing)
design (thing)
implementation (thing)
Last minute problem (thing)
Visual Basic Object Properties (thing)
TextBox (thing)
Regional information (idea)

EDIT: Links are fixed now

The Big Daddy

2005-06-27T15:00:00.000Z

A massive hoo-ray-hoo-ha! to desz goh who is currently riding it large at the top of the mad-den topsites chart. That's first place against over 50 other blogs.

Well done.

Copyleft

2005-06-15T06:59:00.000Z

Greetings beautiful readers. Once more I am feeling fine and oomphy (thanks for the gift [you know who you are]). I am once more here with one of those tid-bits of "insight".

The idea that I would like to introduce to you is something called Copyleft.

No I'm not being funny it's a diametric opposite to the idea of copyright. Plus it's a great play on words.

With copyleft the idea is you pass the right to use the copylefted item on to the person that obtains the item (unlike with, say, copyright music where it would be illegal to copy it).

Much of the idea started in the hacking and coding arena where coders found that they'd like to share their work without having it become part of some proprietary software package. So the copyleft condition is you must pass the same freedom on to anyone else you share the copylefted item with, or a derivative thereof.

One of the things to look for is the GNU foundations GPL (General Public License) which is considered the original copyleft code.

A little bragging

2005-06-13T18:42:00.000Z

Normally the beautiful talker likes to say things about other people. Nice, beautiful things - that's why I set up this blog.

It's not everyday that one gets to announce the launch of a directory service that one has coded from scratch over the past two and half years.

Beautiful readers I give you: GloballyLocal.com.

It is my hope to add "suggest new company" and set to live the ebay like comment system in the next few months. I honestly hope this will be worthy of the limited company and the £3500+ ($about $7000) dedicated to it's success. My aim is that this should pay for not only itself, my wages and those of a few others but it should cover the costs of all the free stuff I do. It's a big job and I'm glad to see it get this far.

...

2005-05-31T13:10:00.000Z

I am way too depressed. I gotta get me some oomph...

Imprimatur: Spam Issue: 1-195821489.

2005-05-22T19:32:00.000Z

Unless you have not been reading your blog-o-sphear as I have you will know about the blogmysite dot com threat.

This anti-blog spam site have a ew script that could flood your comments with masses of anon comments to advertise thier paying clients

They are very deffensive about this technique and clame they are the first (they are not - auto comments started in the porn industry years ago

They are going to be targetting blogspot hosted sites and claim this url: http://www.blogmysite.com/faq.html suggests they post as an anon user... that said they autosign up an account so the signed up members only setting might not work.

Join with those bloggers, telling the world and urging blogger.com to block the website.

Imprimatur: Center for comment SPAM - Take the war against spam to the evil doer!: "'Our blog blaster also auto subscribes you in 1 click to the blog sites that require a (free) username to post. Then, it is 1 click sending of your ads daily.'"

The issue number (1-195821489) is the ticket number for this issue as raised with the sites hosts. The host company is Network Solutions and they strangly refuse to discuss this issue via email.

Perhaps some one should call ICAN and complain (Network Solutions are an ICAN registrar!). Meanwhile tell your friends, post a notice and beg blogger to protect us - or simply use an external commenting system like haloscan.

Yes, I know I've been most unsmurfy... sorry(?)

2005-05-20T09:07:00.000Z

I'm not sure if I should keep going with the talker. I know I should keep going and I should say beautiful things about my fave blogs... but I've been in such a bad mood these past few months with my son still missing and the builders, outside my flat, making a dogs dinner of the job in hand. I wonder if maybe it is time to call it a day.

I wonder all this and then I keep going anyway... I think deep down I must be completely insane.

One blogger that needs a link and a lot more great stuff said about him than I have the wit to say is this guy: DuDu's Dad Desz" his blog is something I look forward to reading on Mad-Den Traffic and with him being one of the top three users (in terms of credits held) I think I can expect to see his blog for a long while to come.

"Inspired by my son DuDu, motivated by love, I will write as I think fit, without prejudice, fear or favour. All in the name of fun. "

So by way of apologising for being a grumpy-arse here is a great blog to go read.

Mini Beautiful Talker - an update

2005-05-12T18:13:00.000Z

Mini-me is doing well and gurgling his way into the world of solid food. As long as he can survive his sisters enthusiasm for trying to feed him (chocolate, raw potato, next doors cat...) he will soon be learning to feed himself.

The mini Beautiful Talker is currently asleep in the corner of the room which is just as well as it is totally distorted by ~~a day~~ an afternoon of regular tiny person activity.

Still I remain convinced the world is going to be a better place for having more of me in it.

On-line Photo stuff - what can you tell me?

2005-05-09T22:11:00.000Z

I have just been reading about Snapfish apparently "the fastest growing" online photo service, which I guess means they are reasonably popular with nine million members and more than 250 million photos on the Snapfish system.

They claim "We have been rated the number one online photo service in surveys from PC Data and received top quality ratings from Popular Photography and Yahoo! Internet Life. Snapfish enables digital camera owners to share, print and store their favorite photo memories at low prices."

The reason I have been reading about these guys is that there is an advert campaign comeing up for them on my network and I have read that "Snapfish has agreed to be acquired by Hewlett-Packard"

The press release goes on to say: "Together, they will be able to provide the most comprehensive digital photography solution available."

Have my regular reader(s) tried these guys and what can you tell me?

Election 2005: Results are no surprise

2005-05-06T07:19:00.000Z

What a surprise - Blair again... sigh.

BBC NEWS | Election 2005 | Seat-by-seat | Angus

2005-05-06T00:07:00.000Z

BBC NEWS | Election 2005 | Seat-by-seat | Angus

This is the score as I go to bed:

Scotish National Party: 1 seat (retained)

Conservatives: 1 seat (Taken from the Labour Party)

Libral Democrats: 2 Seats (Retained)

Labour: 41 Seats (all retained = one lost none gained)

I can only hope that the people of my home town have seen reason.

BBC NEWS | Election 2005 | Results

2005-05-05T23:56:00.000Z

BBC NEWS | Election 2005 | Results: It's 28 Seats to the Tony Blair while one of Tony's seats has gone to Conservatives. Lib Dem's hold two seats and so far the Putney result is the only shift of power.

2005-05-03T15:28:00.000Z

...and now it is hot hot hot with bright sunshine and no air... ...so naturally I was forced to go to the pub for a cold drink.

Shocking(!)

water, water everywhere...

2005-05-03T07:44:00.000Z

Well the sunshine has gone and now it's raining out there. There might be plenty of water bt there is not a drop to drink. A burst water main has denied us access to free flowing water.

Actually I'm going over the top I have just had a nice hot drink as the water has been reconnected but there was the chance of a day without water.

Getting Visitors - Getting Links

2005-04-28T11:22:00.000Z

It's been I while since I last wrote on a topic of getting on with one's blog.

Heck, I have to admit that this blog has been just about sliding down the scale of bye-bye-baby. So I thought I'd write about getting new visitors.

We all know that spam is bad and so just flooding other peoples space with links is going to do us no favours at all.

So in order to link to our blogs we must earn the right to place or have placed our link.

This generally means making friends with other bloggers and keeping up with their blog, and commenting and joining in - that's for building community.

The next answer is swapping links - this is for traffic rank (unless you use bloglinker or blogroll in which case it's back to community as Google ignores those links)

Popular methods also include traffic surf (such as Mad-Den Super Surf) and other visitation exchanges. The more targeted the type the better quality of visitors you get.

You should avoid auto-surf as people are generally not looking at your site but an automatic browser is looking and using credits up too.

Another answer is traffic trading. This is a little harder to pigeon hole so I will take a few moments to talk about it.

With a traffic exchange (example) these ideas are joined together to benefit each use. The exchange site often offers a service of some kind and will benefit from hosting the exchange if only one or two visitors per thousand notice the service. Those wishing to join in add their site/domain to the list and are given a number of URLs to send traffic to. Each URL sends the visitor to the main exchange page where they are offered the choice of active sites to visit. Sometimes this is automated.

The different URLs allow the site owner different techniques for having the traffic recorded as no one method is best for all. Members can use their url(s) (such as the one used for the link in the post title) in surf exchanges to send visitors to the page.

The traffic exchange site will often have ways to monitor the quality of traffic and you will find yourself rewarded in accordance to the quality as will as the quantity.

Let us return to the idea of getting links on other peoples blogs. The best way is to arrange an exchange of "hard-links" with similarly contented sites. This will improve your Google Page Rank for the page in question and show your visitors other similar sites creating the sense that your site is slowly becoming something of a centre for great content.

It seems to me that mad-den link swap would be a good place to get new link swapping partner blogs.

This means I'm saying go visit and use it like the link swap classifieds.

I did.

How to paint your front door.

2005-04-19T12:18:00.000Z

Regular readers might be aware that I have been feeling really angry about the builders (who still have not finnished) working outside my home. Really attentive readers might remember that I was attacked by one of them.

Well today was the day that I had enough and I have spent the morning writting a long article on the correct way to paint doors. Not you might say the worlds most interesting topic untill you realise that these cowboys that the local council have employed were required to paint my door.

It took over a week between undercoat and final coat and to suggest they were not to enthusiastic with the sand papering would be like suggesting the pope might be relgiouse.

The paint job is particularly bad and and the final coat even has patches were they missed bits (not to mention lots of runs and brush marks).

Well in tune with the original Beautiful Talker mandate to say nice things only I spent some time researching the task of painting one's front door. I discovered that it is an easy DIY task and that lots of guides existed to help a body do jsut that.

Of course they is the minimum requirement that the body contain a brain and some method of manipulating a paintbrush but that's as taxing as it gets.

As posts go it was quite a long one but it does score highly in the morral victory department. My door still sucks but at least I have shown how it should be done and provided lsits to common amature errors.

You never know the builders might read it and put it in to practice and future jobs might be better... no I don't think that will happen iether but I can hope.

Boo!

2005-04-14T19:38:00.000Z

I'm thinking of getting rid of the tag box. What do both my readers think of this?

Google Gulp

2005-04-02T09:41:00.000Z

Google Gulp: "1. How does Google Gulp work?

"Well, to comprehend the long version of this answer, you'd need a PhD (from Stanford, natch). The short version is, our brains process data by sending electrical impulses called neurotransmitters between billions of neurons via axons running between synapses, much the way buses travel between stations, or MP3 files travel between felonious suburban teenagers. The molecular compound that fuels Google Gulp speeds up this process by, among various startling feats of neurochemical legerdemain, limiting the activity of the enzyme monoamine oxidase. You think faster – and feel better.

"What's more, through our patented real-time DNA-scanning process, Auto-Drink™, Google Gulp is actually able to "take a picture" of your genetic profile, reconfigure its molecular composition on the fly, and subtly alter your brain's intricate mosaic of axonial patterns in order to facilitate even faster cognitive processing. "

It seems like Googles April fools joke this year was as good as ever.

youthey.me.uk

2005-03-31T18:08:00.001Z

youthey.me.uk: "Would you believe that in September 2003 the British government was effectively overthrown by one person using an old computer printer and some office stationery?"

can anyone tell me if this is for real?

UPDATE: I've looked a little closer and read a few of his "sheets" and clearly the guys tin foil hat has slipped a bit(!)

I saw not a shred of evidence for any of it. His claims fantastic as they are a called to heal by the lack of a solid item of evidence. His case is further worsened by grammar and written style worse than mine.

So upon reflection - sorry dude I do not believe you although you are free to re-write and use more acute paragraphs. Use numeric evidence where possible and back up every statement with evidence.

Deal with each acute element of you argument separately and don't muddle your middle.

Of this are book deals and fame made. Of this are mighty empires built and won.

Not currently recommended for my beautiful people. (yes I know, I'm a shocking lackey of the capitalist whatever.)

TDC Exposed

2005-03-28T01:11:00.000Z

TDC Exposed: "So when a so-called-police-man phoned my house and not only asked some very strange questions but told me several details about a 'witness' to a crime he says I committed giving not only their gender but their home address I grew suspicious and started to change the names and numbers I was mentioning."

It would seem that I have a stalker. According to all character-based analysis we can expect that this is a white male aged 25 to 40, with a standard of education below level 3 (GCSE max) from a working class background. Never-the-less the subject (my stalker) will consider himself to be of above average intelligence and gifted in someway.

This stalker would be of stocky to medium build tall but not unusually so, subject to fits of rage and a poorly controlled temper although this person will probably not engage in a large number of fights but will speak at times with a violent hatred in his words. He is the kind of person to seethe inwardly rather than speak out as this person is passive-aggressive and fears direct confrontation preferring to hide in shadows and strike from the darkness.

It is possible his father abused him in some (probably minor) way and that he has sexual urges that he does not fully comprehend but disturb his black and white view of the world. He may secretly suspect himself to be gay and yet find the idea repellent.

He will have an almost "Messiah complex" view of the rightness of his position and feel as if he is engaged on a quest not unakin to a pilgrimage. He may even assign some spiritual meaning to his actions although he would deny the intervention of any supernatural entity. He will believe himself to be privy to secret or privileged information and will unconsciously seek out signs that confirm this.

The subject will feel it is their duty to rebalanced the scales of justice and in the presence of a sufficiently strong psychosis will be willing to murder to do this. they will see nothing wrong with their actions.

The subject/stalker is likely to engage in numerous subterfuges and be prone to paranoia attributing collusion where non-exists. He may be experience emotional transference from ealier trauma and will need to be a all times in control of the situation. They will therefore us lies and subtle tricker to do this often posing as people they are not in order to achieve often pointless aims.

It is possible that the subject may suffer delusions of one kind or another and may engage in seemingly random behaviour in his attempts to manipulate real and imagined situations. This attempted "subterfuges" steam from a collection of internalised fantasies regarding the victim that may include: rape, murder, torture or other violence that will be quite graphic and explicit.

The subject is likely to be in a position where he is able to gather information about his victim mostly in the form of hearsay and speculation. He will have time (either through work that requires little or no mental input or through unemployment) to think on "his research" and will create ideal plots that he does not fully intend to carry out. Eventually these fantasies will become stronger and unless his ability to gather fresh gossip, "facts", or other "information" is ends these fantasies will form into a plan of campaign. The subject may dry run these fantasies and this will allow a sense of disassociation to grow leaving the subject with a god-like sense of invulnerability.

Unchecked he will eventually approach the victim and attempt to live out the scenario he has developed. If the victim deviates from "the script" it will cause the subject to become unsettled and he will likely become extremely violent in an attempt to regain control.

So....

It seems I have a vigilante-stalker with a Messiah Complex. "Great" (I do not think!).

Seems like calf boy has not gone away as we originally suspected but is in fact acting out cowedly fantasies.

Apparently the fact that my stalker attempted to impersinate a policeman indicates that he views himself as not so much beyond the law as the law itself. That makes him a danger to pritty much everyone.

The alternative theory holds the character analysis to be true but assumes the man is a policeman in which case we have a loose cannon "bent copper" doing as he pleases on some holy quest to fix something from his childhood like (for example) being raped by a parent.

Fortunatly the indications are that the stalker is not more than computer literate and therefore extreamly unlikely to use high-tech methods in his servalence. Additionally it would seem that he is unlikely to attempt to rob the place as he seems himself as on the side of good.

What is the most likely conclusion from all this?

It would seem taht my attacker has been whaching the police carry out their rudimentry investigations (laughing at them) and is going to great lengths to monitor them. It is likely that he is waiting from the "heat to be off" before he strikes again.

Before I can act against this pervert I must find a way to test and evidence that the stalker is a builder or as the other option a policeman.

Guess what - chill out.

2005-03-24T11:11:00.000Z

I really need to chill out. I'm like way too tense and that migrane was total evidence that I have got to chill out. Blood pressure too high, so high infact you can almost take my pulse (which is bizzare for me as I was oft labeled the bloodless kid)

While I was not working thus makeing myself even more tense I did a little ego surfing of the "who's linking to me then" kind. I found a blog I had not read before.

It was cool.

It was THIS ONE. I recomend you go have a read as I found it to be rather good even if the lack of a sufficiently obviouse back to main page link ment a little diddling the url to get there manually.

I'm going to go try to find the paper work I need so I can go do some work. Maybe then I can chill out a bit and stop being so tense.

oh the pain, the pain.

2005-03-23T22:32:00.000Z

I have a very nasty head ache!

Therefore, I shall blog later.

A New Fun Meme

2005-03-19T12:41:00.000Z

here is something fun for you to do, call it a potential meme if you like, but do have a go it's really rather fun for you and your readers. It is the ultimate in mystory meat navigateion: a "dot link matrix"! ...or should that be link dot-matrix? ...hmm...

The idea is simple make a grid of links to things about you, your blog, your refferers, you traffic exchanges, even sites you would like to see have a higher page rank... whatever... but it has to connect to you in some way. I'm sure the idea can be refined but... hey that's part of the fun.

Is it art? We don't know but we do know what we like. It looks OK in my editor but I had to play with it a bit to look good on the blog... heven knows if it looks good for anyone else... Also as they are fullstops they are at the bottom of the clickable area so they are actually a little tricky to click.

Here is mine feel free to use my HTML as a template and have fun

. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .

Funny for us.

2005-03-17T18:29:00.000Z

For those of any political leaning you should be rather ammused by this here link. It's very funny.

122% Price rise over 3 months and you want to use a known mis-managed registrar?

2005-03-08T23:05:00.000Z

My once good domain name (reseller) company (simply.com) has been purchased by the scum of this earth names.co.uk who have in the last three months raised the price by 122% (I kid you not) and added a fee of £10, that's about $21, to "unlock my domain" so I can move it to another company who will charge me as little as $9 (£5) for my first year.

Worse still namesco are resellers for bloody melbourneit who have been part of the error that lost Panix their domain (and all of its email service). It would also seem that these (somewhat overpriced) guys have a deal with Microsoft/MSN. so that if you type a dead domain name then MSN try to sell it to you via melbourneit. The terms and conditions are "interesting"... (it was news to me at any rate).

As I don't really care to have loose my domains, or pay $80 for two years on my (.net) domain name I am angry As I really don't wish to pay the blackmail price to move, (and so not "rub shoulders" with Bill), I'm rather stuck. Aside from writing a stiff letter I have been unable to think what to do.

"Conveniently", when I phone up the *$#&!£% at namesco the person I need to speak to just left and will be out of the office until next week. It would be nice to think that I can tell ICANN (the people that make the rules for this TLD) of some irregularity but what?

The domain is up for renewal in a few months and I have some seven other domains logged with them. My name is only on the owner information on the owner report so what do my reader(s) suggest as this is daylight robbery.

This post is based on a news submission I made to SlashDot about half an hour ago.

2005-03-06T17:18:00.000Z

Remember when voteing sites were fun - me too. The result is staying up all day working on a public version of mad-den traffic. Allowing users to vote for the sites.

It's free of course. Now the question is how do I tell people about it also for free. that's why I'm abusing my blog to talk about it. But beyond that?

Any ideas?

I am as cool as I thought I was!

2005-03-03T23:23:00.000Z

Now this was a test to enjoy doing!

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

The hint for today is...

2005-03-03T14:12:00.000Z

Burning feeds...

Way-back-whenI used to do this all of the time. I used to write out advise and be beautiful in word and text. Lately I've been a grumpy blogger and no one reads or at least commetns on my blogs any more. I wish to fix this.

Today I'me going to talk about a service many of use use called feed burner which we use to add the Y! subscribe button and other chicklets.

Feedburner works by taking the ATOM feed that comes with your blogger account (and might be available for other accounts) and doing something cleaver with it. Sometimes if you ask jsut right you can do a whole set of somethings.

It's not just limited to ATOM but includes RSS 1 and RSS 2 feeds that are more common with moveable type and paid-up Live Journal Users. RSS 1 and 2 is not version but type so there are really three main feed formats out there.

Don't worry they say any dicent reader will use any format without you telling it - for the most part this is true. For example your ATOM feed is readable via the "SmartFeed" option in yahoo which is RSS only.

However not all readers are equal and the smart feed sometimes comes out not-quite-right in odd little feeders.

The answer seems simple convert format... but there are problems. Fortunatly there are answers too.

The problem lies in the way the convert happens even with the extreamly impressive smart feed. Some RSS readers don't display the discription / summary portian which is where this article is to be read or your revalations about your boyfriend's sister's husband's uncle's dog will be found - in other words the content is missing.

Also your smartened feed works in more systems than ever before why change it for less systems so your pet system can read it?

That'd be silly.

The next answer seems to burn the feed twice so that half you subscribers read one and half read the other.

It works but those lovely stats are all messed up now.

The trick lies in how you burn your feeds. Done right you loose no stats at all.

First take your blogger feed: http://myBlog.blogspot.com/atom.xml and burn your feed setting smart feed and stats as a minimum. What you have is your optimised feed that lots of people can use. Now take you FeedBurner XML URL which they will give you and burn a new feed from it. This feed can have convert to RSS 1 (or 2) but should not have smart feed as this over rights convert. Also select the summary and teaser option which creates an edit 200 word (or whatever number you set) summary clipped fromt he start of you asstounding content.

You can continue to burn as many specialist feeds as you like and add chicklets for all of them (labeled of course) into your sidebar AND you get stats for them all!

Add the stats chicklet for your main feed and your subfeeds if you like and you will see that the main feed has the stats for all.

Job done - lots of special feeds and without lossing your stats.

Who would use it?

Well I know of a few people with PDAs that run PocketPC-2002 and PocketRSS. Since adding the RSS converted flavour (WITH SUMMARIES) these guys can noww read my blog on their hand helds. It's the content summary that does the magic adding content back in from where-ever ATOM hides it.

I've got a PDA myself now and it is truely irritating not being able to read my fav blogs which I've quickly sync'd before going on a trip. (feeds can be grabbed quickly for off line reading).

EVILEVILEVIL...RANT...Rant... rant .... puff... ...etc

2005-03-02T20:58:00.000Z

I've just read a few things on this site: here.

And I am rather upset about it. I want all my loyle readers to be upset too. I know you wont be but I can still hope.

Beautiful Talker: Less than beautiful people.

2005-02-28T23:45:00.000Z

Beautiful Talker: Less than beautiful people.: "I am off to see the doctor today to see if the councils thug has caused me any permanent brain damage."

Apparently it's normal to be unable to think straight for a month or two after being punched out. My doctor tells me that my brain has become bruised and parts may have swelling.

I'll be sent for a scan in two weeks time if things don't get better

In the mean time I just drink my extra strong coffee and fall asleep. It's a damn good job I don't drive.

Less than beautiful people.

2005-02-28T14:53:00.000Z

I am off to see the doctor today to see if the councils thug has caused me any perminant brain damage.

I will be very very annoyed if he has.

I'll post again when I know more which should be in a few hours time.

Beaten to an inspirationless state

2005-02-26T18:43:00.001Z

Here is a little food for thought. I would like to know what people would like to read about. I could tell you how Mini Beautiful Talker is doing (fine) or maybe why I feel so uninspired... That food for thought I promised you: what do you do if after filing a complaint the builders in question beat the crap out of you?

That's possibly why I've been feeling so sleepy. Ever since the hammer wielding maniac attacked my self and Mrs Beautiful talker after we raised objections over asbestos and dry fibre stands (both dangerous) left lying about.

Mrs Beautiful talker was fine but I was knocked out. I've been feeling sleepy ever since and it's coming up on two weeks.

It continues to be cold and snowy here and I have more and more work to do. I can't focus my mind even though the flash backs have stopped.

So I am back to the same question - what would you have me type about as my "spark" is currently off.

Google Technology

2005-02-23T21:29:00.000Z

Google Technology : "As a Google user, you're familiar with the speed and accuracy of a Google search. How exactly does Google manage to find the right results for every query as quickly as it does? The heart of Google's search technology is PigeonRank™, a system for ranking web pages developed by Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Stanford University."

A very funny Google page from 2002.

Female Perpetration of Child Sexual Abuse: An Overview of the Problem

2005-02-14T10:45:00.000Z

I have just read something quite horrific:

HORRIFIC:: "Not all survivors or victims report that sexual abuse by females was subtle or covert. Of the 93 women who perpetrated in Michigan therapist Bobbie Rosencrans' recent four-year study of survivors of maternal incest, 65 percent reported that their abuse had been violent. Karen K., a survivor of maternal incest from Washington State who edits the newsletter S.O.F.I.E. (Survivors of Female Incest Emerge!), has read nearly 500 letters from survivors in the past 18 months. She feels that 'women are more creative and more brutal in their abuse.' "

U.S. Scientists Say They Are Told to Alter Findings

2005-02-12T18:21:00.000Z

U.S. Scientists Say They Are Told to Alter Findings: "More than 200 scientists employed by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service say they have been directed to alter official findings to lessen protections for plants and animals, a survey released Wednesday says."

This story from the land of the so called free (!) tells of scientists ordered to alter findings to favour those with the cash.

The Screaming Link

2005-02-10T08:13:00.000Z

The Screaming Link: "This is the blog I have come to think of as 'My Blog'. It is were you find me plain and ...actually there is nothing plain or pain about it."

Find out what else I have been blogging on. The screaming link is my idea of a way to tie it all togeather.

The consept is simple: create one more blog and add a post per blog which you can update with key bits such as feedburner graphics and other "feeds". The result is a "site map" like summary of every blog you keep.

TDC Exposed

2005-02-08T20:18:00.000Z

TDC Exposed: "I have had genuine offers from labourers to come round after your cowboys have finished and do it properly. "

TDC gets a roasting.

Animal-Human Hybrids Spark Controversy

2005-01-30T12:59:00.000Z

Animal-Human Hybrids Spark Controversy: "Scientists have begun blurring the line between human and animal by producing chimeras - a hybrid creature that's part human, part animal. "

Greatings beautiful readers, he is a news article to shock you.

Human-Animal cross breeds!

Uncle Tom for dinner anyone?

slashgoth.org - down, not across

2005-01-27T22:07:00.000Z

I got removed from the IRC UK_Goff channel for complaining it was childish and (shock horror) knowing the real life names of people.

No great loss as one was a thief and the other a looser with an admin password. It seems to me that UK Goths require a real IRC channel.

Filtering by Domestic Blog Providers in China

2005-01-20T11:54:00.000Z

Filtering by Domestic Blog Providers in China: "Over the last year, the Chinese government has focused increasing attention on the control of blogs. Three popular domestic blog providers in China were temporarily shutdown in March 2004. The websites of the three blog providers, blogcn.com, blogbus.com and blogdriver.com, were not filtered or blocked through technical means, rather they were closed down. The home pages of each of the sites carried a message indicating that their services were temporarily suspended. The blog providers were reportedly closed down because they contained discussions concerning 'a letter' written by Dr. Jiang Yanyong pertaining to the Tiananmen Square massacre."

100 Word Challenge.

2005-01-17T11:46:00.000Z

According to "blog hot or not" music (No. 1) is more popular than linux (No. 65) both of which are more popular than porn (No. 72) at least in terms of popular keywords.

Given the science of politics of life and "humor" (humour to us English) I have chosen to try and write an article that uses all the top 100 words. As art goes it might be fun and as an experiment in writing with computers I might even win a few new friends for my weblog. But on the whole I should just talk at length about sex, relationships, movies and love to do well and maybe this will be the top rated (in google etc) article of all time?

I am going to do this with out the aid of php or other computer gimickry or beer.

Maybe I will write books and be in the news sparking the formation of a new religion based on this philosophy? followers of christianity might get annoyed with me and the media family would have a field day with me but I would be on uk tv... probably not likely but a nice idea.

It might turn out to be funny on a personal level at least. Bend technology to get a geek internet first. Actually I'm not sure it will be a first but I hope it is.

This will not be a great work of literature as I will have to talk about san francisco and new york and photography therein but I don't actually know anything worth saying on that subject. However, blogs being what they are and web design being so forgiving perhaps a few college kids might create a satire commentary on this article. At least the university students will likely write wittier put-downs.

weblogs are great as you can get away with sudden changes of direction mid-article and suddenly talk about London Buddhism Television and liberal Christian reaction to it and then talk about boys football comedy. No other medium would let me get away with publishing such utter rubbish without causing rants from true journal writers with evil pictures and links to sarcasm from some 14 year old that lives in california and doesn't even know me... oh shoot that is exactly what will happen.

Maybe some poetry about food or a girl I used to know would go down better but I have no intention of playing random games with fashion in the online world of thoughts and reading.

I need to design a paragraph that takes in gay punk in canada and photos of cats owned by anime fans and girls with some programming skill and a webcam. The only connection I can think of has already been used and as I travel the web I find lots of weird humour that could be used... I'll get back to you on that one.

film culture and comics might go well with women, school sports and pop culture. From there I will try to write about 80's music and weblogs by female depression experts... I fear that might put me at a dead end unless I talk about the art of getting away with working on one's online diary at work while trying to do stuff with html on blogger.

I truly rock! No one else in all England dreams up such crazy stuff and gets away with it. I wonder if anyone will look at http://blog.hotornot.com/pages/topBlogs.html and see if I still got all 100 in my article here?

AV Woes

2005-01-15T13:18:00.000Z

Regular Readers, feeders and subscribers will know by now that apart from publishing irregularly I also stear clear of soap box style stuff.

I don't preach and I don't rant.

...that much.

If you want a good free AV: http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/lng/us/tpl/v5

However I feel it important to share with you all how upset I have become with Panda AV. This particular AntiVirus program used to be great now it's more "grrr, eat up the memory".

I wrote to Panda and told them what I thaught:

While you (the person reading this message) are likely just be unfortunate enough to work for a useless company I, never-the-less, wish for you to pass the following message on to those cretins who are responsible for the huge waste of time that has become trying to use a computer with Panda AV on it. Additionally, where appropriate, please engrave this message on sharp flints and shove said flint (with the aid of a large mallet) in places these idiots are unlikely to ever forget about.

(Thank you message to pass on follows)

You program now does far more harm than good. I hope that after having this message permanently placed where the sun does not shine engraved upon sharp stone you will understand why you should offer me a full and complete refund.

I have had enough of this BS. When I first got Panda it was smooth, fast, efficient, small and great. Now it is a steaming turd that does more to crash my computer, lose me data and generally screw up anything I was trying to do than all the Virus, DDOS, Spam and spyware attacks I have endured combined.

Lobotomised goldfish could create a more stable program and Microsoft has proven this on more than one occasion.

It is a liability to run the stupid thing while doing any real work, as it will randomly crash complaining of non-specific thread errors and force a restart.

It is no longer about waiting for the TTC (Time until crash) of an inactive MS-OS (measured in days) but the same for your so-called protection, which is measured in minuets.

If it is going to be one of those particularly shite days and your idiot monkeys banging keys on a keyboard manage to send out a lot of updates I may have to restart my PC up to three times before Panda AV Platinum will even let me use it.

It would seem to me that you lead programmers and analysts could not pour water from a boot with instructions written on the heel.

It creates pop-ups that have no close button and despite the fact I have contacted you on any number of occasions with full technical details and screen shots you fail to act. Even politicians have a better public image then that.

The program is now a black hole into which all processor time and memory are sucked.

I have to disconnect from the network to get any work done and if I wish to use the more resource heavy programs I must unload Panda and risk needing to restart any number of times before I can get the PC to run without being disrupted by your bug ridden malware.

Outlook now takes between ten and thirty minuets to boot and often crashes completely remaining useless for days at a time now that the email scanner has fully wormed it’s way in.

Your Spam filter is so weak that my “message rules” catch 75% to 95% Spam than your filter at a fraction of the time too. Please engrave this paragraph on a large fish and beat the team who wrote that useless filter with said fish until they understand that they should get on their knees daily and say a word of thanks that useless monkeys, like they, even have a job.

The firewall will sometimes stall and deny me access to the Internet and refuse to exit memory thus demanding another panda induced re-start. My grandma could probably invent a more useful method of security than the current “up-to-date” firewall I have from your company. I ask only that you personally collect the CD of the software I have from you and personally attempt to insert it in the left nostril of your CEO, chairman or other senior idiot whom I hold doubly responsible for my hardship.

Despite repeatedly setting panda to allow all forms of communication from IPs matching the range 10.0.0.0 to 10.0.0.255 your software repeatedly blocks the router, and the other local PCs and attacks and often disrupts my FTP channels in a similar manor weather running passive or not firewall configured or not.

Furthermore, the process of authenticating chat clients and other point-to-point communication software takes longer than it should as randomly the firewall will bounce a reply and it will not arrive.

Hell on a government made corporate scale network it even blocks the internal server and router paths and internal DNS. Some users even report that SMTP fails from some PCs… but all that is another story I wish to complain about my experiences with your companies crap.

After scanning down the log with this in-mind guess what remains – go on guess.

That’s right nothing!

A child of five could do a better job wish a penknife and a box of matches. Call that useful and necessary protection because I do not.

As you can see the software I have from you fails in all regards to meet the criteria for which it was sold. Additionally it is description as a “tool” and as “protection” is untrue. You will be aware that I am fully and morally entitled to a full if not double refund and re-imbursement to the tune of sufficient cash to go and buy a real anti-virus program.
You can email the funds to my PayPal account using this address.

Patented European webshop

2005-01-11T14:53:00.000Z

Patented European webshop: "All of the elements and processes indicated in the graphic below are covered by granted (not just requested) European Patents."

"Shopping cart: Electronic shopping cart - EP807891 and EP784279 "

Look out web based shops break 20 copyrights!!!! How stupid can a government get?

http://webshop.ffii.org/

Nothing to say.

2005-01-07T21:52:00.000Z

Why is it that when I sit down to deliberatly blog I can think of nothing to say? This has always bothered me and so I put a lot of thaught into it.

Blogging is for the main part a way of talking about what you are doing right now and if if what you are doing is sitting down and thinking about what to say that might be interesting that is all you have to talk about.

Who new and insightfull could that be?

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Dolphins prevent NZ shark attack

2005-01-04T13:00:00.000Z

Some beautiful news...:

"It was an uncomfortable experience, as they were circled by a great white shark, which came within a couple of metres.

He said around half a dozen dolphins suddenly appeared and herded the swimmers together. The mammals swam in tight circles to create a defensive barrier as the great white lurked under the surface.

The swimmers said the dolphins were extremely agitated and repeatedly slapped the water with their tails, presumably to try to deter the predator as it cruised nearby.

The drama happened in New Zealand three weeks ago, but only now are the lifeguards telling their story. "

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

2005-01-03T19:24:00.000Z

This is a public service announcement: England is dieing. ("Bring out your dead!")

Our hospitals are grinding to a halt and the specialists and consultants are refusing to enter them. Entire wards are being quarantined at a time and A&E sections are being closed and terning people away.

It would seem that Captain Trips has come to visit...

The cause of this panic and failure is a flu epidemic that swept the hospitals on the run up to Christmas. People started to literally pour into the hospitals vomiting and feeling generally very unwell. Before that week was out Canterbury Hospital Closed. The infection has spread to the hospitals where it was able to run unchecked through the places in record time.

The staff at these places were ill equipped to handle such a flood and hospital after hospital is closing down under the strain. In computer terms this is a DDOS attack with the power to take down say Google, Blogger and Yahoo and then have a look at killing Alta-vista without even pausing for breath.

The elderly and newborn are most at risk as your average healthy human has nothing to fear other than a few days of tummy ache vomiting and the trots with the greatest threat being dehydration.

The seriously ill and elderly are advised to stay clear of hospitals until this is over (if it ever is). The sick and injured in hospital can expect fairly dedicated nursing but actual expert attention is another matter. The experts will not be allowed onto a ward until it has been clean for 48 hours.

My Nan had a fall boxing day and still no one knows when she will see the consultant.

The problem is that this flu can mutate fast enough to re-infect people that have already had it. I have it on good authority that the "quarantined" wards are seeing people come down with this same bug more than once.

("Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dad (if you don't like him)!")

Seagulls and Poodles - Swan Song for the Family Meal.

2004-12-25T20:56:00.000Z

If I am truly honest I am glad today is over.

I spent from 1pm until 7:45pm at the house where my mother and sisters live.

I have finally come to realise that their lack of manors and good grace so shockingly disturbs, offends and upsets me that I may just have to write a book about it. I will at least have to write an essay on the subject of how to have a "happy Christmas" and to be honest I think it might involve staying home.

I love my family but I can not stand my sisters table manors.

Does that make me a bad person?

ho ho ho... etc.

2004-12-25T11:05:00.000Z

Greatings beautiful surfers. I'm on line christmas day getting my fix of blogging before I go get a fix of beer.

Now tell me honestly are you at home? Do you have friends over or is it just you, the PC and the cat? I'd love to know what you are all doing reading this stuff today

My "excuse" is that I am a nurd, a geek and a dad rocking a baby to sleep. But I really want to know about the rest of you. Are you eating good food and how are you celebrating this season?

I'm about to go get a drink. So before I do I will share my bit of news: someone gave us a jar of smoked caviar (no idea how to spell it) which I have never had before. I'm not much of a fish eater so fish eggs... it'll be interesting.

Be good, don't do anything I wouldn't do and if you do remember to user steal re-enforced concreate...

I wish to brag

2004-12-22T20:15:00.000Z

Gospel according to Chav

2004-12-21T10:07:00.000Z

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin.

(Wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like: 'Oo you lookin' at?'

Gabriel just goes: 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to 'im large.

'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that.

She's like: 'Orright, Mary, I can proper feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. What with the extra benefits an' that.'

Mary goes: 'Yeah, s'pose you're right.'

Anyway, there's the census, y'knaaa? Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to twock a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem on that.

They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop yeah? To have her bay-bee, an' that. But there ain't no room in the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like: 'Respect the bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' with this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas, an' Burberry?'

It's all abaht to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like: 'The police is coming an' they're killing all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.'

Joe goes: 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey.'

Gabriel sez: 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look-aht if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killing the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazeref, an' Jesus turns water into lager.

Secunia - Multiple Browsers Window Injection Vulnerability (Test)

2004-12-10T12:22:00.000Z

Secunia - Multiple Browsers Window Injection Vulnerability Test: "Secunia Research has reported a vulnerability, which affects most browsers. The vulnerability can be exploited by a malicious web site to 'hi-jack' a named browser window, regardless of which web site is the true 'owner' of the window."

It seems that the general denial that things were "acting strange" out in WWW land were miss-informed as there is a very big problem!

MenWeb - Men's Issues. Child sexual abuse by women - summary

2004-12-09T13:18:00.000Z

Child sexual abuse by women - summary: "250,000 children in UK have been sexually abused by women"

That is the most horrific thing I have ever read!

I'm in total shock. I had to double check this but it seems that the findings were from the BBC themselves - UK TV Programme - Panorama - BBC1 - 10 pm Monday 6th October 1997

Somebody shoot me now, this world is total sick.

I feel odd.

2004-12-09T01:15:00.000Z

Is it just that I've been away writing for a month? Is it that I have had no contact for that month?

What ever the reason - I feel like I've fallen off the planet and no-one noticed.

Oh-er nurdy delights for you all

2004-12-04T10:20:00.000Z

My blogger code: B4 d++ t++ k++ s u-- f i o x-- e l c- (decode it!)

Greating beautiful readers. I hope you enjoy the nurdish toy provided above as much as I did (for at least six seconds). Geeks and others may recognise the origins of this little idea. Others can have fun with it anyway.

2004-11-30T22:02:00.000Z

I am pleased to announce - YES YES OH-YES! I have don it. 50,000+ words (51,300) in just 30 days!

JAMANDA: update

2004-11-24T16:28:00.000Z

Greatings beautiful people. Once again I have been not writting my novel and have instead been surfing around blogdom.

Quite by accident I found myself on a blog that was rather introspective but at the same time typical of the self doubt we all have as bloggers. Is anyone listening.

JAMANDA: update: "You may be asking 'update on what' well the answer is nothing. Just what im doing as i sit here looking at me screen pretendng ppl acyully read about my life."

Does any one read my blog? Does any one listen when I pray?

Heavy stuff if you are inclined to think too hard like me. So in the spirit of the blog-o-sphear I have linked to and commented on this persons blog (in my blog).

So if you are in the surfing mood drop by and say hi.

Ohh-argh m'hearty a pirates life for... someone else?

2004-11-23T19:36:00.000Z

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Guess What!

2004-11-18T13:37:00.000Z

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Shocking Lies in our family Centres - A UK Crisis

2004-11-16T10:13:00.000Z

To day beautiful readers I will do something shockingly dangouse. I am going to do it without the aid of a safty net.

I am going to debunk a feminist myth used sinse (at least) 1995 on posters all over the UK to promote women's issues. I shall use a personal story of my encounter with that myth and then shoot the crap out of it with some honest to goodness truth and facts taken from the source they claim to have gotten theirs from.

Are you sitting comfirtably?

Then I shall begin.

The poster proclaimed that:

1 in 4 women
live in fear

Too many men know why

I should point out for the metaphorically impaired that this is:

A Lie

It was the prejudicial language that offended me first. It caught my eye in a family centre on the edge of a government housing estate. I was there to attend a Parental Focus Group Meeting to provide feedback on how these people were helping (or not helping).

I was there under protest.

I had no particular interest in being near this women's stronghold.

They call it a family centre but in actual fact it is simply an expensive women with children centre.

I said very little on my first few monthly visits but at last I felt that something had to be done. There was something inherently wrong - man bashing wrong - about that poster. It struck a chord and alarm bells rang.

I am aware that most men would not have stayed so long as to identify what bothered them before leaving and never coming back, claiming "I felt too uncomfortable", or "it's not my scene" and possibly quoting a general distaste for "mothers meetings". The irony is that the staff are genuinely confused as to why no men ever turn up, it is after all a community centre.

I returned to the poster and took notes. It claimed to get its shocking statistic for the UK home office. There could be "no higher authority" on the number of people effected by crime.

The poster claimed to use 1995 statistics.

I visited the home office website. I found the 1993 statistics and had a look. The poster could not be further from the truth. less than 1 in 200 women suffering from domestic violence I guess was not sufficiently shocking and you couldn't attack men in much the same way. I also discovered a few other things. The home office has never published its statistics as such figures as 1 in 4 (bookmakers odds) but as the number out of all the people interviewed.

This means that this women's poster quotes processed statistics on the subject of living in fear (non-specified criteria) while the home office publishes statistics in the raw state with specified criteria.

The posters statistics are worse than untrue, they are deceptive and meaningless quoting out of date sources.

Confident that I had gathered everything I needed I look forward to the next Focus Group. I waited through some dull as ditchwater topics ready to say my peace and make a change for truth, justice and human rights.

I did at last get my chance and speak up I did. I gently made my points and asked to have my offence at the poster officially recorded. This went down well. Next I set into the content. I made a point of saying how the issue was important and I agreed with the need to raise awareness. I thought I had covered my bases and began to unfold the debunking facts. The statistics were unreliable. The source was out of date. The year was the worst for crime on record. The real figures were tiny and the poster used prejudicial language.

The official response was simple. It didn't matter that the figures were out of date because the important fact was that it was raising awareness.

The poster was to stay; man bashing sentiments and all.

They did however agree to put up another poster high-lighting that the most at risk group was in fact men aged 18 to 21.

It was a small and hollow victory.

It would seem that women are magical and mystical and it is ok for their support groups to tell lies as long as it raised awareness.

Perhaps these buildings should come with a warning;

1 in 1 men
live in fear

Too many women know why
(and the others should know better)

Now for those facts

UK Population: 59,787,000

1:4 ratio of women (50% of population) gives us 7,473,375 suffering domestic violence. (They give no definition of living in fear but as the poster is one for domestic violence one must assume something).

2003/04 incidents of domestic violence was 501,000 even if we double this for 1995 "crime wave" we get 1,002,000 victims both male and female so how do they get 7.5 Million women in fear when the home office shows 1 Million at an imaginative push?

2,781,000 Violent crimes in 2003/04 (double to give benefit of the doubt to 1995 figures) we get 5,562,000 total victims. That is still only 5.5 Million including all forms of violence to both genders so where do they get 7.5 Million

With a fall of just 35% from 1995 to 2003 doubling the figures should have easily accounted for any unreported crimes.

Violent crime has fallen by 35% since its peak in 1995, and has remained relatively stable since 2000.
(http://www.crimestatistics.org.uk/output/Page63.asp)

It can also be pointed out:

942,000 incidents where the offender was an acquaintance
949,000 incidents where the offender was a stranger

(http://www.crimestatistics.org.uk/output/Page63.asp)

That's almost 50:50 so we should not double but half our estimates. This means despite multiplying the figures to four times that which they have ever been we still can't get up to the huge figures quoted.

In 2002/03, 4.1% of people experienced a violent incident, approximately half of which resulted in some injury.

If we assumed that all that was domestic and all that was women getting attacked (a plainly absurd idea) we get just 1,225,634 people (Just over 1 Million) the poster claims that this figure should be 7 Million just for the women.

Oh Crap another One!

2004-11-11T22:19:00.000Z

Oh Crap another One!: "He poured himself his usual morning cocktail and fought the nausea as he downed it. Today was going to involve a lot of reading and some documents. Documents! That was it; the documents from his office had been stolen. Documents detailing the work other people had done, work that could have helped to cure him."

Hi there beutiful readers. I have not abandoned you I am just writting my novel. It has reached chapter 11 and the story is hotting up. Two minor charaters have died and two main charaters are not longing so good. Our current lead charcters have gotten tied up in something they do not understand and seems love could be in the air... or not depending on her mood. It's getting a little spooky around the edges so stay tuned.

Link exchange for blogs and homepages

2004-11-06T19:35:00.000Z

Normally I never use my blog posts to "advertise" anything. However from time to time I have been known to give advise (like the tips on link blog-linker). I have been working on a traffic exchange program with the view that only werth-while sites be included. (If you've ever used a trafic exchange program you know how dull some of those sites can get.) The site is http://www.mad-den.co.uk/traffic and is now part of the mad-den network (which I helped to build (brag-brag)).

I hope that lots of people sign up and enjoy shareing linkage and visits and so forth. I recomend you go sign up if only for the free 100 credits.

-=- Link Whore -=- Give me a nice HARD LINK! -=-

2004-11-03T18:23:00.000Z

"Publicizing Your Site (Without Irritating Everyone on the Net)"

Here is a little toy for you beautiful readers. Just show up and get the site to link to you. A little extra linkage never hurt anyone.

Oh Crap another One!: Chapter 1

2004-11-02T07:55:00.000Z

Oh Crap another One!: Chapter 1

2004-10-31T16:28:00.000Z

Hi! just to let you know to come to This Story if you wish to hear from me this month...

A story

2004-10-31T15:18:00.000Z

Starting on the first and ending on the thirtieth 50,000 words and one novel to be written day by day!

Blow me I'm going to give it a go.

exp100.com - 100 Experiences - 100 Alarming Facts

2004-10-27T21:18:00.000Z

exp100.com - 100 Experiences - 100 Alarming Facts: "Americans Spend £56Bn On Pornography Every Year - The Same Amount Their Government Spends On Foreign Aid"
That is truely shocking.

Have your say - What do you think?

2004-10-18T17:23:00.000Z

Have your say - What do you think?: "Who are better Boys or Girls? "

Hay-ya! Launched another new blog.
do you remember "have your say today"? It used to be good fun untill they stopped posting. so I've taken some liberties with the basic idea and am doing it myself.

Opinions apriciated.

Allodoxaphobia

2004-10-16T21:00:00.000Z

The unwarranted or irrational fear of the opinions of others.

Although Allodoxaphobia is generally accepted as a medical or psychological condition (not unakin to a psychosis or overruling condition requiring expert attention) it could easily be argued to be a basic function of the human condition.

If I call the atheist a Theophobe how does he feel? Does he thank me? Of course not, he feels perhaps angry at my opinion or maybe he looks down at me for not understanding but most likely he feels defensive. We feel defensive when we feel the need to defend - it can be seen as a fear reaction.

How do these comments make you feel?

Sex is a sin
Cats are nasty animals
The Feasibility study is meaningless
In all probability you will fail
You are wrong
Your work is rubbish
Your clothes are rubbish
Your friends, house and car are rubbish
You are rubbish

It's be pretty hard to take if that was all said to you in a day. One or two of the comments might fail to affect you at all, but what if someone important to you started to say them? Out of this core fear then comes: peer-pressure, fashion, demands, popularity contests and a thousand every-day games of lets pretend that tries to avoid 50% of the possible opinions of others.

At the end of the day words and opinions can not damage or kill you but the experienced rejection, (that failing in the eye's of another brings), can. It is a form of Social Phobia that causes us to stay home on a "bad hair day" and refuse to be seen at a club without "the right clothes". At some level we know that clothes are required only to keep us warm and dry but still we still are extremely selective and our criteria are not those of practicality but of the opinions of others.

What else does this lead to?

Cainophobia / Cainotophobia, (Fear of newness, novelty), fear of taking risks of doing something different. Is this not, aguably, part of what binds us as a society together? This is an opinion, does this opinion frighten you? If not - good; if "yes" then why?
Autodysomophobia, (Fear of one that has a vile odour) perhaps? The fear that being with an unfashionably scented person may make us guilty by association in the minds of others?
Bromidrosiphobia / Bromidrophobia, (Fear of body smells) comes to mind too.
Automysophobia, (Fear of being dirty), Fear that our most fashionable top will be unwashed in time to go to the party?
Catagelophobia, (Fear of being ridiculed). Is this not what we fear the most?
Cacophobia, (Fear of ugliness). Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder but is it not true that no one want to be thought of as ugly.
Caligynephobia, (Fear of beautiful women). It has happened to all of us males at some point. We see the fantastic looking female and we become frightened. What are we frightened of? Clearly we are frightened that this lady will think badly of us. Why is her opinion suddenly important? It is because we elevate her opinion along with her status as a goddess. To be blessed by the smile of the goddess is to be popular, liked, successful, god's gift to women; not a failure, manly, liked...
Isn't all just Autophobia, (Fear of being alone or of oneself) at the end of the day?

What is at stake is our faith in ourselves. Our belief in our own abilities, charm and general worthiness as a human often take their cues from others opinions. We feel reassured when people agree with us or like us. It is how a person will cope when there is non to agree no-one who's opinions are "nice" that is the mark of potential greatness. Such a person is free to act according to his own standards to strive for his own goals and to do so with whatever methods seem right to him. This person - a man in this illustration - this man may become a great pioneer or a sociopathic and criminal menace but he will be a great.

Does that mean , then, that we are tied to mediocrity through enslavement to vague elemental forces of this world? Controlled by fear and yet calling ourselves free? Are we dictated to by the mores and wants of those around us? Acting as a giant herd of sheep with no true purpose or direction? This is the natural conclusion; the final destination of this way of life. What other conclusion can we draw? We could come up with a more comforting ending but who would that help?

So what now? Do we accept that this is "the glue that binds" or do we break out of our constraints? If you re-act to these opinions are you still acting as the sheep or do some opinions set you free? Is it true that truth sets you free? If it is and if this is some truth do you have the courage to be free? After all the sheep in the herd feel safe and are unlikely to be eaten by wolves. Perhaps it is better to be a slave to the vagueties of life, to take comfort in the safety and live a good if unremarkable life and then die (as we all shall).

Now it is down to you. I have no answers - just questions.

2004-10-14T19:52:00.000Z

How does such a tiny person make me feel so sleepy?